Sometimes Doing the “Right Thing” is NOT always the Easiest Thing to Do

I must say that one of the most difficult things for me with working with the guys that I work with is that we tend to have a lot of issues with the law.  A lot of things that they get involved with are sometimes pretty difficult things and a lot of it has to do with survival or even just not really having someone in their life that they are held accountable to; who is aware of them and who is an authority in their life. One of the blessings that I am beginning to see that God has given me is that I see that He has begun giving me some sort of authority in the lives of these guys even though I am not technically their parent. 

Back in March, we had an issue where one of the guys entered a house (a house of someone I know) and stole about a half million pesos worth amount of stuff. After he stole he fled and no one knew where he was at. At the time, the owner of the home was not in town and so it was not known right away that there had been a theft. Two days after the theft (and no one knowing where this young man was), I get a call from this young man. He was very distressed and did not know what to do. He called me and confessed everything that he had done. He had stolen because he was in a lot of debt to many people and the money that he was making working was not enough to pay everyone he needed to pay and on top of that to survive; so he decided that this was the option that he had left, but he realized that he had went too far. He wanted me to go to where he was to talk to me in person, but I had to stop him before he could tell me where he was at because by sharing that information with me, he would then make me an accomplice of the crime.  He didn’t know what to do, but he said that he wanted to do the right thing, and he asked me what he should do. I told him, well the right thing to do would be to turn yourself in. He said, “WHAT?!?! Are you crazy Jim! Do you know what they will do to me?!” I told him that sometimes doing the “right thing” is not always the easiest thing to do, however, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. I also told him, “But do you know what they would do to you if they find you?” I tried to encourage him to make the right decision, and he was wanting even more for me to go to where he was at. I told him he needs to think about it, however, he knows what he has to do. I told him too that I would do everything I could to encourage and support him through the whole process. The conversation ended with him not to thrilled with the advice that I had given him. 

Two days later he ended up turning himself in and he has been in the prison ever since. It has now been seven months, and I have been trying really hard to stick to my promise with him. We talk several times a week on the phone, I have visited him several times there in prison in the town down the mountain, and I have gone to the trials that I can that he has had. It has been a very difficult process because I feel that it is worse inside the prison than it is in the streets.

The first time that I went to visit him in the prison I must say I was really nervous. It is actually really interesting even the whole process of getting in. You start off lined up on the sidewalk and we are separated into two lines, men and women. We are called in 5-10 at a time and then you are taken to a room where you are strip searched, nothing can be taken in with you and any approved things have to be searched. After that they stamp your arm and you have to turn in your identification and they give you a ticket. If that ticket is lost or the stamp comes off your arm you are stuck in the prison. I must say that the prison was not how I had pictured it (like you see in the movies). There was no room with tables and chairs where you go and sit and have the prisoner come and visit with you. You literally go right into where everyone is. On the inside there are no handcuffs and the guards stay outside. As I entered the prison area where all of the inmates were, I was overwhelmed by a swarm of all of these men asking for money and things; Men trying to fan you with pieces of cardboard just to try and make 10 pesos. All of the sudden, there were three young men (that were not the young man that I went to visit) who said, “Jim? Jim!!! What are you doing here?! Do you remember me? I was one of the guys from club on Saturdays! Wow! It has been so long!” It was kind of bittersweet feelings to see them. I felt relieved because then I knew someone, but at the same time it saddened me where they were. Then, the young man that I came to visit appeared out of the hundreds of men in this confined courtyard area. 

We looked for a place to sit and talk, but it was hard because literally the music was blaring so loud. I had brought a Bible that I had highlighted several verses and wrote notes for him in so he could read it. I had wanted to share some with him, but because of all of the people and how loud the music was it was very hard. We were literally sitting almost on top of each other and the only way we could hear was literally speaking into the ear of each other. As we were talking, I could sense the damage that the little time that he had there had done. His mindset had changed from repenting for what he had done to literally defending the reason for why he had done what he had done by saying, “But he is rich. He has got plenty…” I literally had to confront him and humble him yet again right there in the prison, but again doing it in much love. Praise God that in that moment we were able to break that mentality and take him to a place to where he confessed and admitted that what he had done was wrong. This has been a consistent battle because of the things that many people around him tell him; guards included.

He then decided to show me his cell. When I walked into the area of the cells again I was overwhelmed (and yet again it was not like you see in the movies). We entered this 3-foot wide hallway and you literally see people all over. There were even legs dangling from the ceiling where some cells were. The cells literally look like mausoleums where you put coffins. They are maybe 3-feet high. We had to take a ladder to get into his cell. We entered one cell of the neighbor and then through his cell we went up to get into this young man’s cell. There were no windows and it was completely closed off. As we are sitting in this very small cell (can I say claustrophobic?!) he tells me that about three guys are put into each cell, and that these cells you have to pay monthly rent and it comes with a small mattress (when I say mattress think camping pad). I asked him, what about those who can’t pay rent. He said that they sleep on the floor in the hallway and they sleep three wide and head to toe. They call them “the frogs.” He said, however, it is dangerous out there because sometimes there have even been cases where they wake up and someone is dead. In this entire area there is one toilet for over a hundred guys (a door to a cell is literally directly above the toilet). Let’s just say, the entire experience was a big shock. 

Visiting hours were ending and it was getting time that I had to leave, but before I left, I asked the young man if I could pray for him. We prayed and he escorted me to the door where the exit was. As I was about to leave, he grabbed me and embraced me. He told me he loved me and viewed me more like a dad than his own dad. I hugged him and told him we will be in touch, and I was taken out.

This entire process has also allowed me to get to know the family even better. I have known his 6 other brothers but his mom and dad I really began to get to know more though this process. Unfortunately, I feel like there is a lot of neglect as far as the raising of the family goes and support for the young man who is in prison, but it has been interesting to go and try and encourage them as well. But it has been hard for everyone. Over the last few months, I have been astonished by the level of trust that has been building up, and it is only by God’s grace that it has been forming. I have been humbled, and yet seeking a lot of God’s wisdom and discernment with my interaction with these guys. In the last couple months in this family of 7 brothers, each one on different occasions, have approached me and told me that they loved me and that they view me as if I was a parent/ someone of authority in their lives. When, this first started happening, I must admit, it scared me because I am realizing the depth of the relationship being formed, and really the need that I have for God to work through me.